Ramblings of an Insomniac

I wish I had more choices, but don't we all. If everyone had more choices do you think we would be happy with them. Honestly, or would we still hold out for more and more choices till we had them all. Then what else would we ask for?...assistance to make the choice. Then worry strikes cause the right choice one of them, and we have to figure out which choice it is. So we ask the intelligence to find out the right choice. One wish leads to more and more until you run out of wishes from you magic genie and you are left smack dab in the middle of all these choices with with assistance to choose, and the intelligence but you sit there for all eternity because your to damn scared to dive in and you over analyze your choices untill you break down and cry wishing that it was simpler.


We ponder and ponder about what we will do with our life. Because when the time comes you look back and wish that you had done all those things you thought about. But the time is gone, you lie in your hospital bed because of the cigarettes you smoked that you promised you'd quit but couldnt find the time. Or because you didn't notice the stop sign because you were juggling your make-up and the cell phone trying to sqeeze every little thing into the bit of time you have between home and the office. Everyone wishes we had more time, but if we had it we'd do nothing with it. Which makes no sense because we pray for this time to get things done that we have put off till that last minute...and we piss it away.

Time just ticks away and we cant do anything about it. Like I have said to many people I know "Living kills" from the minute you are born you are dying. Everything you do these days will slowly lead to your own demise. We worry about it so much that it digs through out heads like sandworms crawling around till we lock ourself into a sanitarium.

Scientist study things, millions of things to see how it will eventually kill us. You can't chew gum because the cinnimon kind will give you cancer, you cant drink this drink, or be around this type of machine because it will one day murder you.

Why are we all in so much more danger of dying then we were in the past? It makes no since, We have all these new things that threaten to kill us and yet we are living longer then our ansestors. Is it because of these people who over analyze life? Or is it because of advancd medicine? With all this study you think some one would know. But no one ever studies the good things. Its all negative.

Like the news. Once in a while you see something positive but the negative overwhelms it, so by the time the sunshine has hit the earth the rain is shortly following. You hear about arsonist, and murders with no suspects. You hear of cruelty to animals and people who stand for trust and love hurting themselfs and children. You see the word "All men created equa"l and you hear of amendments that will make this statment null and void. No one knows the inner workings of the minds that lead, the minds that fallow and the minds that dont care which way they go.
 
We only see what they want us to see. We see nothing. And we believe that that nothing is everything. We build our life upon a foundation of nothing. And try to teach values to our children that we never followed and after the foundation crumbles we wonder why.