Ramblings of an Insomniac II

    Have you ever done this? Have you ever laid down to try to sleep at midnight with your mind racing? Having one thought after another, at first making plans for the days to come, then pondering the present and contimplating the past?  Story of my life, although I have never been a sleeper.  But I think I may have a cure, thouse if you are like me and long winded (handed) then you still won't lie down to sleep until about 3am. Write it down, whatever it is running through your head before you go to bed even if it doesn't make sense.
    So here are my probably incoherant ramblings of an insomniac.
    I know you have done this, because I do it all the time.  Have you ever had something you were dying to tell someone? A subject that for some reason or another has to mentioned?  You sit and practice what you are going to say.  You go over it again and again revising the solo conversation until the time comes, when it is flawless and completely memorized no matter how long or complicated it is.  Then when the oppertunity comes to give the 'speech' if you will, you either blank out or don't have the guts to say however remedial it is.  And the one in a million times you do start your planned dialogue the outcome is not only unexpected, but the worst possible situation.
    While we are on the 'Have you ever" subject...Have you ever wished the human brain could be more like an electronic device of some sort?  Like a TV? Where you could choose which memories you wanted to reminise upon at that specific moment. Wouldn't it be so much simpler to be able to take that remote control of emotions and say "No, I don't like this station!." when it comes to a bad memory?  By the time you're a teenager you whould have your 'brain waves' memorized by which channel they're on and what time they are played.  Even if our brain were a computer life would be so much easier.  Our memory would be the hard drive space.  You could just highlight all the dark sad memories and click the delete button to make room for the better ones.  And the sad ones that are attached to happy ones could all be placed in a folder named "Self pity" and only played as needed. So unless you are totally sure you want to be miserable you can be genuinely and blindly happy.
    Have you ever done this? You should, It's enlightening....goodnight...I hope.